by Crackhead Bob
What will we see when the Lions come to town? Will Sucky McSuck-Suck rebound and not try to pass to the blimp flying overhead? My snitch Davie Spadaro tells me McCrap’s been studying tape of The Lion King in preparation and can’t understand what Simba has to do with a 3-4 defense, but will bring a chair and whip just in case and I’ll have my glass pipe ready in case he needs a jolt of adrenalin to go with his shaky hands and happy chicken feet–MMmmmm chicken feet. Pot makes you hungry and crack makes you nervous, so #5 take notes it’s a good combo if you’re not QB’ing on a full stomach. Too bad I can’t deal in the Vet anymore. Oh yeah and remember Roy Williams caught for 111 yards last week and is looking forward to devouring the Eagles corner Will James who’s playing in place of the injured and excellent Lito Shepard. James had a nice pick last week against the Skins, a lot of good it did for the Birds, but too often he ran around in circles as if he were having flashbacks of Jeremy Shockey whispering sweet nothings in his ear. I’d like to get high with Shockey one day and see how he really feels about Tom Coughlin and Tiki while Tiki gives Old Yeller a hummer for 5 bucks after losing his commentator job for not saying anything new. But hey, these ain’t your mama’s Lions of 3-13, and seeing how great the Redskins and Packers were, we know that we’ve got a potential 0-3 Linc crapfest on our hands, pipes exploding upstairs, stairwells shaking as we run for the exits like Wilma McSuck from my meth-shrunken python. Just so yous know, I’ll be smoking yellow rock at 42nd and Girard if anyone needs to get ahold of me and if it’s laced with Special K or Ketamine, I’ll be seeing my own Lions vs. Eagles game right in the comfort of my own trash-littered den but that’s better than a chateau in the south of France or a penthouse on Rittenhouse Square. Go boids!!!! I’m crashing.
